Poem

My days are blurred, they're all in one
And what's occured not clear - undone
Am I this person I've become?
Am I just loose, am I just fun?

My friends all gone or if not - hidden
And all their wrongs can't be forgiven
Am I a friend they want to keep?
Am I a friendship put to sleep?

My motherhood a thing I'm shaking
My livelihood will start awaking
Am I a parent worthy to be?
Am I to prevent all they need?

My life not one I had dreamed
And now begun, it seems I'm deemed
to be this person I've become
bound by circumstance, unable to run

Am I a woman? Am I a girl?
Will I ever find happiness in my World?
Will I fall fate to kismet or karma?
Will I end up with just a charmer?
Will it be poetry and kisses?
Will I be someone the other misses?
Will I be sure I am content?
Will my life be heaven sent?

Am I a person too romantic
that I to others seem pedantic?

Am I to find my own utopia?
Am I to others their dystopia?

Am I a person so disastrous
that I will be alone and the last of us
to find a love, a time, a place
to finally have a smile on my face?

Will I be left with tear-stained cheeks
as I'm a person far too weak?
And for every compliment I receive
causes my stained heart to grieve
thinking of words that have been said
Lodged deep within my mixed-up head

Every nice thing that people say
deep inside there, locked away
almost afraid to be repeated
in case I might become conceited
almost afraid to be heard
but I remember every word

I'm everyone's 'favourite', everyone's 'best'
But 'everyone's' gone when I need to rest
on a shoulder, on a friend or need to cry
'Everyone' just passes me by...

Am I a person just to lust?
Will anyone regain my trust?
Can I be loved, Can I be beautiful?
Or will someone stay just to be dutiful?

Am I this person I've become?
Am I of use? Am I just fun?

By Laura Rose Barker